Rain Day

Yay! it's raining!
I'm so pleased, i wore flipflops to celebrate!

I looked after S's house from monday, to look after the new puppy, Brutus. He is about 6 months old (maybe less) and the sweetest little thing. Nothing bothers him, even Ashka growling at him and pulling her "wolf faces" when he gets too near the food or something. He is happy to run around and play by himself in the garden, and I only had to rescue one cushion from him. An Australian Sheepdog, is little Brutus, with enormous paws. Ashka better watchout when this little tyke grows up, he's going to be huge!
(photos on flickr, of course)

Snow managed to cause himself major injury, nearly broke his neck falling "up" stairs. He was drunk... *sigh*
Glad he is ok though, and i hope he has learnt his lesson... NEVER carry your iBook while drunk!
:)

not a fun time of year

Christmas time.
never my best time.
and now, all these fun new reasons to be miserable! yay!

Cut my hair. it's pretty short now, in readiness to be shaved.
(just sneaking it up on people)

S is back on Catch! She rode yesterday for the first time in 3 weeks. Thankfully, i had ridden him in the morning, so he wasn't too fresh. And i think he was so happy to have her back... he behaved himself.

The boys were shod this morning, so J and I hung around and watched J at work on their hooves.
It was like a scene from a painting... farrier bent over a horse hoof... anvil and irons in the background... sun warming the dogs (whippets and a greyhound) lying on the lawn...
Perhaps the Linkin Park and Jay-Z in the background would have spoiled it slightly... but it was a pretty good moment. i managed to get some shots with my fonecam (moblog)... but would have been nice to have a proper camera there!

another stab in the heart.

In order to find out what's happening out there, in the world of the man i loved, due to a cold silence that has descended between us, i took a look at his new girl's new blog.

"The end of this story though is that there is hope for the cool chick though. After 2+ years of this kind of lonely nonsense I've decided to take off the pikachu slipper-FFXI-recluse ways and try to find true love. Recent events have made me aware that there are people that appreciate and can truly love a girl who is like a dude but not a dude. Funny how someone you meet and fall in love with can completely change your life. So all I can say to wrap this winded, boring-ass story up is a nice, dreamy quote: "I am hope"

I love you snow and I don't care who knows.
~the end~"

Well apparently, i'm one of the people who knows now, and apparently she doesn't care.
i am. overcome.
all the little scabs on my heart just totally wrenched open.
i sobbed like a little lost child.
i really don't think i can take too much more of this pain.
and the fact that he feels nothing. that she feels nothing for the pain they both cause.
that just bites deep.

i'm on the knife edge. total dispair. this crazy numb heart. dead soul.
dehydrated from crying.
how long does this take to heal?
i don't know how long i can hold on.

rooster hair

i woke up with rooster hair this morning.
I fought bravely with water and some gel, but i was defeated by the sheer stubborness of morning hair.
i had to restort to clips. *bows.head.in.shame*
hopefully, some time under the Riding Hat will squash some sense into my hair.

And now, B has asked me to please ride Catch. He's kidding? no. he isn't.
We have not heard a whisper from the recently skopped S - and poor Catch is just standing. :/
I want to, but i am petrified at the same time.
Besides, i don't have a saddle for him, or a bridle or anything.
i shall speak to B.

I shall also try desperately to get hold of S. I hope she is ok.

wk

ok. that does it.

So darling New Girl has a new blog?
and a new domain?
and little love letters and "isn't he wonderful?" notes?

Breaks my heart, but hey. He couldn't care less.
So why should I?

I have deleted my weblog on his server. genewolf.org is no more.
I'm not sharing a space with her. sorry.

so this is it, really. this is my new space.

wk

byebye little MyT

found my little MyT under my bed last night...
she must have made a daring hamster escape from her cage some time during the day (tuesday) while i was at work...
:(
She was also an old hammie, so her little heart might have given out in the excitement and exertion of escaping and jumping off the chest of drawers.

Will miss you my little ferocious fluffball.
Peace to you.

wk

violin music and thank you

thank you again, to sgl! You made it all tidy _again_ after i messed it up...
so muchly appreciated. :D

And! My violin has arrived from the US. (finally!) but i have asked them to forward it on to my work address, so that i can actually collect it here... instead of out in the industrial area of town.
I hope the duty charges are not too big... don't have too much cash to throw around at the moment.

also
check out
http://www.clientcopia.com/
For anyone who has to deal with .."clients".

wk

tq

tq to the sgl for helping me make it neat and tidy...
much appreciated.

wk

would you look at that!?

just posted the previous "it's not working" post...
and voila... it seems to be working.

odd.

so i'm not as pathetic as i thought!

crazy days

trying to move things across to this blog, from my other one, in order to fascillitate the "leaving alone" of him.
Not having the best of luck... can't seem to get my flickr badge showing, or my moblog link.
*sigh*
if anyone wants to help, i would be most grateful.

wk

rage

I have one ring. and some computer games.
that's what i have from him. And this ring was bought about 2 months before he leaves me. And it was bought only because I said i was getting _him_ something special for our 6 year anniversary and as a farewell and something to remember me by.

he has 2 rings, and 98% of his clothing and etc.
everything he wears and smells like.

"do you resent that?" he asks.
No kidding.
It's not the money or "getting" things. I'm not materialistic. It's the fact that it was never reciprocated. That I ran around after him.

he wants ME to be "be a friend" and be the one he tells everything to about his new "blissful happiness.
ME????
does he have NO IDEA how much he hurts me everytime he even MENTIONS her name??
and now he wants me to sit and listen to him go on about how HAPPY he is??
sorry, BUDDY.
He feels nothing! he has NO IDEA!
He comes home drunk, gets online and wants to tell me what an exciting evening of gaming with his new wonderful girl he has planned???
Find someone else to torture. I have given you nearly 7 years of complete attention.
I don't deserve to be hurt like that.

And now he suggests that we "take some time apart"...
um. he is all the way over there *points* and I am all the way over here *points*.
how frikkin far apart does he want to be from me?
I'm too inconvenient now, obviously. Too emotional and annoying.
He clearly wants to get On With His Life, and I am a burden with my silly anger and resentment.

Well I'll give him space.
I'll never bug him again.