as the dust settles...

So, my 30th birthday came and went.
I feel old. So much older than 30.
I never thought i'd make it to 25, much less 30.
I don't see myself getting old.
I can see myself alone though.

The Crazy Cat Woman.

And now. Now i have no job again.
Day after my birthday, and i get told i'm unemployed once more.

One nice thing - I am a Soldier's Angel.

But what now?
Where do i go from here?

All the wounds that were healing - all scratched open again by seeing him.
I still love him.
That's what hurts so bad.

So many things i still want to do, to be.