and downhill from here...

the decision is made.
the letter is in.
today i find out how long i must stay here to work off my notice.
and then i'm FREEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEE

i must admit i feel both horribly nervous and light as a feather at the same time...
this is the right decision. i can feel it deep down.

even if things turn out differently to what i'm hoping... it's still a life changing decision, and i'm glad i've finally made it.

wk

war of worry

do i stay or do i go?
second, third and fourth thoughts...
i feel sick with worry.

i have nothing to "go" to...
but at the same time, i don't want to be stuck here next year going " i shoulda..."

"what if" is tearing me apart.

help.

"...and then, after 5 years (if you live that long)..."

that's from a song by bjork... it's not a threat or anything.

And as quickly as the explosion happens, it fades. You are left with cleaning up after making some decisions - hopefully you held yourself in check, hopefully you didn't mess things up too badly.

it seems that when you forgive the person who dumped you (but never forget), the lust fades. the terrible driving anger and hurt begins to heal.
you feel used up and fragile.

driven.

ok... so what happens when you are dumped after 6 and a half years of being utterly faithful?
There is a lust explosion.
your horns grow.
your ego is desperate for attention.
you need constant flattery and a flow of compliments.

just for a little bit.

My new whiskey ways!

And here it is... the Secret Life of Whiskey Kitten
Here is where I will air my views, my thoughts... without worrying about what people think.
Whiskey_kitten is my old alter ego... she is strong and independant.
She does not need anyone to validate her existence.