ok. so in reality, i'm miserable.
I'm putting out this "i'm ok" thing, but inside, i'm screaming.
I'm so lonely i could (and do, often) cry.
I have a "journal" type thing, and i was writing in it, and i paged back... i came across all the bits i'd written about .. him.. and me. I sobbed.
It's so unfair! He's "blissfully happy" with his new american girl. He says " i just got back from the best week of my life". His week in america. with her. Again.
my heart broke all over again.
Does this mean he never had a good week with me? In nearly 7 years?
Does it mean that i never made him as blissfully happy as she does?
Was i just a waste of his time?
Did i waste my life? All the energy (money) and time i gave him, was it all for nothing?
He doesn't even remember the anniversary that would have been 7 years.
"Oh, i forgot" he said.
HE FORGOT???
WTF!!??
my word i'm pathetic.
help
:(
I'm so lonely i could (and do, often) cry.
I have a "journal" type thing, and i was writing in it, and i paged back... i came across all the bits i'd written about .. him.. and me. I sobbed.
It's so unfair! He's "blissfully happy" with his new american girl. He says " i just got back from the best week of my life". His week in america. with her. Again.
my heart broke all over again.
Does this mean he never had a good week with me? In nearly 7 years?
Does it mean that i never made him as blissfully happy as she does?
Was i just a waste of his time?
Did i waste my life? All the energy (money) and time i gave him, was it all for nothing?
He doesn't even remember the anniversary that would have been 7 years.
"Oh, i forgot" he said.
HE FORGOT???
WTF!!??
my word i'm pathetic.
help
:(
posted by whiskey_kitten at 7:15 PM
2 Comments:
I'm sorry you're hurting so much, hon. *hugs* I wish I could make it all go away, but all I can do is promise that your future is brighter than it seems. It might take a while for you to heal after the hurt you've suffered, but you will heal, and it will all get better. Have patience with yourself, though, look after yourself, pamper yourself, and don't give up hope. There are so many of us out here who can empathise with what you're going through, so don't forget that you're not alone in this - we are here to help, to give hugs and love and support whenever you need it. *more hugs*
Thanks, suw...
I really need to stop feeling so sorry for myself.
Like you say, it happens to other people, and there are a lot of them out there. I'm not the only one.
I'm being very self-centred aren't i?
Thank you for your kind words. It really _is_ good to know i have so many friends. Online friends are way better than being alone.
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